It is so hard for me to accept the loss of time and energy to illness. The *normal* RA stuff causes enough loss of time and life that having something else crop up is even more upsetting. I got nothing done artistically this weekend. Nothing. Zip. Zero, Zilch, Feels like backwards movement. Hoping whatever this issue is breezes out like it came in, and my inimitable immune system, albeit tied up in some areas, can bounce back and I can “heal thyself.” I am so leery of medical systems these days and this experience only reassures that lack of confidence. At least I can get to school and make contingency plans so that if I do need to go suddenly to the ER my classroom can handle it, I haven’t met all my classes yet and student lists aren’t even finalized, so this is not the time to be out. One would think a doctor could understand this professional duty. Sigh.
Sadly, I had to postpone Hapi’s medical appointment, too, I feel terrible about it, but luckily was able to get one in less than two weeks, so all is well. In the meantime he still is baring his chest. I hope it is just adolescent angst and a desire to sport a new haircut. Lots of hoping going on, here!
Came across an intriguing article this morning from the Wall Street Journal written by Augusten Burrough in 2012 about the state of being “happy.” The title, “How to Live Unhappily Ever After,” piqued my interest, and the article reflected on the continually mixed-bag of being human. We, like parrots, do not wish to get pushed out of our flock of fellow people, and are intrinsically trained to smile and say we are “Great!” even when we are not. If we are not feeling great, for whatever reason, the guilt over it compounds the issue and makes us feel worse, Eric Maisel has written about the ups and downs of life being life itself, and that our emotional states, all of them, are just part of being human, and are not necessarily disorders. In this article, Burroughs suggests embracing the “not greats” and inner angst, and that it is okay not to be “Happy!” I liked his descriptions and thought it was a thought-provoking read, My mood baseline tends to be low, which makes me think about it more than the average bear, and I work daily at appreciating good things and being as satisfied with my life as I can be. There are many times, though, which I am anything but happy. Truth be told, I have a lot of reasons to not be “Happy!” (as do most of us, when we get down to it.) But, thankfully, I have a lot of reasons to be thankful and joyful about life, too.
Speaking of which, they need breakfast and I need to get to school! Cheers.