I can imagine ten years without being sick, though, and while I avoid launching into a melodramatic tirade about chronic illness, I will say I am bitter about all the time and energy I have not had to move forward with my artwork. The past decade has been like a roller coaster physically and I really want to get off, or at least ride a less bumpy track so I can actually get somewhere and explore my life through art more deeply. I've had to accept that I can not reach the standards I've set for myself in several areas of my life, which isn't easy for me to do. I have to choose whether I will live in a place of constant frustration over what I see as not being good enough, or a place of acceptance over doing the best I can, and letting that be good enough. That is a life lesson in itself, gained from the past decade. It is a challenge for me, though, as those high standards just don't seem to budge when I try to move them. Maybe this will change over the next decade.
Until then, the struggle goes on, filled with appreciation for all that has happened and hope for what will come down the pike in years to come. Here's to hoping it is filled with Hapi's funny chatter and lots of artwork that I actually like. Cheers!
What will you make today?