It is usually at this point in the summer when I start to get really frustrated that everything that needs doing around here just isn't getting done. I notice EVERY little thing wrong with the house, inside and out, and feel almost powerless about it all due to feeling overwhelmed, physically crappy a good deal of the time, and wanting to devote time to art. All the lists in the world don't get the actual tasks done. Dealing with the Tobster is a 24/7 job in itself, let alone keeping up with everything else. Being home, having my domestic ineptitude staring me in the face all.day.long, starts to really get me going. Which isn't a totally bad thing, as it might bring on the wall painting and junk purging sessions that really need to happen in here. I accept a certain degree of chaos, but being home all the time places a sharp lens of "shoulds" on what a chaotic domestic front I live in. "If only I could..." pops into my head a hundred times a day. Sigh. In about a month I'll be back in the classroom setting up for a great year and I'd oh-so-love the home front to be just as organized. All I can do is what I can do each day, though, so I gotta let it go.
Hapi is so loving his new food that I am taking a break from worrying about him to see if the nutritional change helps his feather growth. He is eating it like a pig! I've never seen him consume so many pellets and am so happy he does. I've cut back on the fresh food and seed (for him, zero seed right now) and am hoping that it helps. He still looks awful. His behavior and vocalizations seem normal. It is so hard to see him with bald patches all over and not know why. He can read my stress about it and that only makes it worse. Gotta let it go.
The world is in a similar chaos to my house, bursting at the seams with chaos, pain, and conflict. We are living in such uncertain times on so many fronts. Very hard to let go.
All I really want to do today is finish beading my pot piece. It is so close to being done -- all I have to do is the handles and then it is ready for edging. It is more complex than anything I've done before with beads and I have to say that I am pretty happy with it. My creative "dry spell" seems to be over and I'm getting my artistic mojo back, which brings personal returns much greater than a spotless house will give me. So I tell myself as I wait for my legs to "let go" of their stiffness and pain this morning. And look around at the domestic nightmare I live in! Ugh.
For an art link today, here is Issuu.com, a great site for reading books and magazines online, that has a pirate poster uploading books about textile art at an alarmingly fast rate. Called FridaKahlo, this person is violating every copyright rule under the sun and it seems that Issuu is playing whack-a-mole trying to block access to the books and magazines. Some very cool and unusual titles! In the meantime, there are some cool publications to at least preview! As I wait for the morning meds to kick in and alleviate some of the stiffness and pain, it is great reading material. More inspiration for the next set of pieces I want to make! Can't, won't, and need, not to let that go. Cheers.