I read art blogs all the time and came across a neat one on the difference between being busy and really getting down with the art process. They are very different things. I like Eric Maisel's term "Going deep" meaning really hitting new levels of honest expression, getting into the flow, letting the competing conceptual noises play themselves out in the work through honest effort and process (at least that is how I think of his term.) If I mindlessly hit the art room to make something that doesn't have a lot of meaning to me, when I don't have a lot of energy and health to begin with, it often becomes a dead end. A disappointment. And fuels the disconnect even more. It's important for me to stay connected to making things, but being busy when not feeling great isn't helpful. The process is essential for me at this point, but the product, the Big Idea I am trying to grab hold to, is not.
I always post articles about the benefits of art on people's well being. Taking the medicine now, and re-reading this gem from the Washington Post. It quotes Louise Bourgois, a famed fiber artist we learned about in college. One of the greats. She lived to be 98 and produced a huge body of artwork. What a gift to humanity. With these role models, it is hard not to feel like a sub-par artist some days, or like I'm not doing enough to become the artist my brain thinks I "should" be. Still, I am grateful for being able to make things, lots of things, but maybe not Big Important Things right now. Will take a page out of Bougois' book and draw, paint, and explore what I can on a daily basis without pressure. Peace out.