Am rereading Julia Cameron's book Finding Water which, is excellent. This is the type of book to pick up and return to from time to time to reframe ridiculous thoughts such as "Why am I bothering to try to maintain a life creating artwork, anyway? Wouldn't it be easier to just give up and move on? Less stress about all I am not doing? Make my living spaces "normal" like other people have?" etc. Reading a few chapters in her book puts those thoughts to bed. The book is about "finding perseverance in the often overwhelming creative process. Sure, sometimes it is just about sitting down to make something. Sometimes, though, there is so much more going on between the impulse and what finally gets made and the balance is offset, the reasons why someone should focus on creating art are drowned out by life's noise and clutter. I keep hoping that "when the pain is gone I'll be able to..." and am trying not to "go there" to think about what it will be like if the pain doesn't let up enough to make a difference. Then what? Cross that bridge when we get there, I guess. More false art starts along the way in the mean time. Loads of images in my head waiting to get out, loads of things that need doing before I can really explore them. And the doing takes longer after surgery.
I do know that I can never totally quit making things, thinking about made things, and walking away from the rich world of textile stuff that has built up around me. Things just change, and maybe this is just a period of transition. Warming up the engine for a productive burst, I hope. As long as there is something to hope for, life is good.
What will you make today?