Yesterday provided time to work on some paper-painted canvases and do some sketchbook work, too. I took a chance and rinsed out the large fabric print I started painting text on as I think handling it causes excess ink to rub off and dull the whole image. It is dry now but the print seems really light, Might have to use this as a background with another pot made separately and attached on top? Hmmmm…. Tonight we have class at Create, so no art time today. Will be great to see everyone’s project come along, though! Moving fast this session.
Feeling a bit better like my recent physical implosion is behind me. Tapering off prednisone must have something to do with it. Despite being on a higher dose of pred the RA pain is significant, though, and not being covered by my usual pain meds. I’d been taking Tylenol Arthritis daily with my reg meds, and think not taking them now is noticeable. Also I am off Arava, a DMARD that I’ve taken for ten years or so. The only RA med in my system now is the intravenous Rituxan which is due in December again. Have to see the rheumy to figure out if taking it again is a good idea or not. I’m thinking not...but if there are no alternatives, what do I do? Being completely unmedicated for RA is a frightening reality.
Yesterday I went to the high school for afternoon meetings and ran into a student who was one of my special ones when she was at my school. She was struggling with issues stemming from events in her early years over which she had no control. The fallout was bad and clearly evident. She would hang out with me and draw, and talk. Miss her! Yesterday she told me she has developed psoriatic arthritis and is on a biologic after suffering for a year with overall body pain. I felt like I was kicked in the gut. So sad for this little kid who has so many years ahead of her. I gave her a hug and told her if I could help in anyway I was here for her, but truly, what can one do? Having this pain, being stuck in it day in and day out, really isn’t anything that someone else can help with. My heart breaks for her. Maybe I need to have an art class for a few of my former kids just for fun and happiness.
I immediately thought of the book I read this summer about early childhood trauma and autoimmune disease/chronic pain. The brain’s wiring during formative years most definitely has something to do with this. Re-wiring the brain must be the answer...but how? Controlling thoughts, reading about the Buddha, reducing stress, creating new neurological patterns in the brain to replace the dysfunctional ones that initiate stress responses without stress stimulus? Is it even possible to do this? Studies aren’t clear. Our culture is producing runaway minds that are subject to thoughtless behavior - not thoughtful behavior. The pace of life, technology, and information is changing brains. How can we teach kids to slow down, listen, and filter their own thoughts to gain better control?
I have been reading more about Buddhism as a way of living more “thoughtfully” and reflectively. Philosophically it is interesting. I do still hold biases though about all the “too cool” peeps I’ve known that have run around with man buns feeling superior for their buddhist beliefs. Have to work on that. Sorry, Buddha! Onward to a day infused with creativity and strong, black tea. Game on.