Since putting on lots of pred weight I've realized even more how biased our world is against being heavy. I've had to realize that I have held almost unconscious judgments about carrying extra weight. Fat equals lazy, gross, poor, sloppy, even stupid. I know many wonderful people who are overweight that are NONE of those things. Intellectually I know it doesn't mean ANY of those things. Weight is just that. Weight. My early programming must have built an internal little voice, though -- what a shame. The chemicals in our food, our inactive lifestyles, our chronic illnesses, our medications, even our genetics are all causing weight gain in more people than not. It is what it is.
I'm trying to lose weight so that my clothes fit better, and that I feel better. Truth be told, though, I do feel embarrassed being fatter than I used to be. Why? Am I thinking I am lazy, gross, poor, sloppy, or stupid? I know I am none of those things. Even if I am, so what? The standard of "acceptability" is so narrow right now, although I think it is changing with young people. I love seeing young girls who are bigger wearing short skirts and not trying to hide themselves like I always did. It might take generations to change. Hopefully I can get my internal, unconscious voice to shut up. And keep walking! I can't do art, which requires sedentary behavior, if I am not moving, and I have a lot of art to do. Game on!
What will you make today?