As I sat, relaxed, listening to the new Stephen King book "Finders Keepers," tearing and sticking little bits of paper and not really thinking at all, I realized how I do not let my brain "go there" often enough. When I bead, I am in the flow. Stitching and quilting, too. Sewing isn't as "flow" for me, bit I love fabric. As someone who helps people live in the land of creative flow I do not do a good job of putting myself there, too. A good friend (who is also a theraputic counselor) said that when we deny fun things in our lives, in my case, making fun art, is a way of self-punishing. We aren't good enough or don't deserve to be happy or feel good. Interesting thought. I feel like it is hard to devote time to "playful art: because I have a million things going on that need doing, including Important Art Things, that I don't "deserve" to relax and do some "free" artwork until I am caught up, which, in reality, is never. Being at the apparently unpredictable mercy of a physical problem, too, means available time is always questionable, making me not want to "waste" a minute of non-exhausted time. It is too easy for me to snap into ultra-self-critical mode and see all the things that are not getting done, that need to be done better, and that are lacking in myself. I am a true Virgo in this regard. There is no time for playing!
New mental goal: realize that sometimes I need to make time to tear up paper and ignore dishes and floors, and to give myself time and space to enjoy making fun things with no expectation of great successes. Just because it feels good. Who's with me?
What will you make today?