Artists often tie their value to external rewards, such as income, reputation, and even notoriety. While these things can be fun, they never quite measure up to the internal reward felt by making a well resolved, nicely crafted work of art that can surprise even the artist with it's visual effect and intensity of meaning. That is one attitude I appreciate from Amanda Palmer's book "The Art of Asking" (I feel like a bit of a broken record here by citing her work yet again, but consider it a cue to read the darn thing if you haven't already!) Creating is a reward in itself. It is good for the soul, the mind, the body, the heart. Growing as an artist and producing work contributes to society at large in ways that are not easy to tabulate. Let others decide what the art is "worth" -- its value is secure within the artist that makes it. "Take the donut."
It feels silly to realize that the artistic time I've had during "off" summers as a teacher has often been laced with a type of guilt. While others toil away in jobs they hate and take short, exotic vacations, I've become aware of the need to push back the little voice that says "Can't you get a job for the summer?" Relatives in my own family have said this to me, even when I was so sick with RA I could barely leave the house. I haven't even taken a vacation requiring travel anywhere since acquiring my birds -- where else would I want to be but with them, anyway?
Fast forward to now. I've become accustomed to using time whatever way is needed. Through the school year I teach -- a lot -- between my day teaching assignment, adult classes, and student lessons. Not much time for art, though. While I've been able to keep the iron consistently in the fire one way or another and complete half of a large piece this year, I haven't had the time or mental energy to "go deep" and resolve the second half of it. By "working" as an artist, maybe I can better help others do the same with their ideas? I don't see how some art teachers can not create artwork at all. How do they understand the process? The pitfalls? The challenges that are inherent in not just making a "thing," but in making an Art Thing? It is important for art teachers to create deeply, grow their "inner artist" and make it more of an "outer" one.
This summer I plan to do just that. For the first time in years I do not have that "I should be working" anxiety because I know I am working. Every day. "I will not feel guilty!" (from "Ukelele Anthem.")
Rome might be burning on the domestic front as there is ALWAYS enough to do to keep me busy around the house, especially when living with Toby da Pug, but during this summer months I will happily play my fiddle and hope for the best.
What will you make today?