I look back at my parent's generation. Issues were not focused on like they are today. My 94 year old neighbor had an uncle blinded in World War l that came home with several problems from the experience. His sister brought him into the family fold and he lived a pretty normal life -- his blindness and issues were just part of who he was, and no one expected his physical or mental issues to improve. My own parents each had their own issues. During my early family life, they were not discussed. Just accepted. This was not a good thing in my own family, and I am glad today that some issues are dealt with more publicly now. If dealing with the struggles of human existence was a pendulum, maybe this was a sign of it swinging to the quiet extreme. At what point, though, is carrying around personal baggage and established diagnoses problematic in dealing with them? Are we now at the other end of the continuum? Maybe the "Suck it up, buttercup" mentality needs to find balance with the "here is my resume of issues that you need to be sensitive about" world.
I am not minimizing ANY problems that people are dealing with -- as I said above, I certainly have my share. In this world of information, medication, and so many options for how we live, is the chronic personal problem a symptom of too much choice in how we live our lives? When I take Option A, I can't take Option B and C, but somewhere in my head I feel like I should be doing A,B,and C, creating conflict about personal expectations. Living with conflict is exhausting and brings on feelings of anxiety, depression, and some physical illnesses as well. This becomes the target of how we use our energy -- coping. Working at. Carrying. Even the language of coping is energy depleting -- someone might be "Fighting RA," or "Beating Depression," etc. Fighting and beating takes energy that could be spent elsewhere. Wouldn't it be great to just let it all go? Why is this so hard to do?
In a country as rich as the US it seems that there is a great poverty of happiness and wellness. We have food, nice places to sleep, cars, and amusements. We have material comforts that many people across the world do not have. Yet so many people are not happy or comfortable in their lives. People find that despite having access to a "good life," things can feel not so good, and make all the comforts seem worthless or meaningless. I see very young people and adults who are trapped in a diagnosis loop and can not seem to find a way out. It is a very sad thing to see. Many people's lives are shaped by their problems, not by their strengths or successes. Why is that? Are we as a culture of evolution and extreme existential awareness has come to the fore, or are we just a nation of damaged goods? Or is it just human nature to have such issues, and the difference now is that we can share them openly? I really don't know.
I do know that I have to watch my own energy like a hawk and not squander it. Yes, I "fight" RA, and the accompanying depression and anxiety. I DO have to deal with it everyday, it is a reality. It can be exhausting. I understand the "battle" mentality because in a way it is very real. The times when the battle hits a lull are really important for me to focus on -- not when the battle is at a fever pitch. Those times involve creating artwork, teaching, and being with my friends and pets. I really wish I could include doing housework in this list, but can not. Shucks. I think every person has to find their own way through their own battle, without adopting the battle cry as their full identity. Maybe having all these issues that people publicly battle is part of the human condition. Maybe it is just part of today's culture. Either way, be nice to people because you never know what battle they are engaged in...they might not tell you...they might be you!
What are you going to make today?