Off to drop my smelly little ray of Maltese sunshine to the groomer and then hopefully get some housework done. The elbows are still flaring which makes it difficult to grip, reach, and carry, but I will do what I can without feeling like I am injuring the areas more. One way to become ambidextrous is to have your dominant arm yell at you every time you try to use it. A whole new level of "WTH?" and "How can I get this done?" Life is never boring.
I get so tired of feeling crappy, and get even more tired of realizing that I always realize I feel crappy, and that it is a fixture in life that never really goes away. Ever. One of those things that unless you live with it, it might be hard to understand and might seem like I am being overly dramatic. When you have a cold, or flu, or illness, it makes you feel badly, but eventually moves on. Your baseline health status is relatively ok (though I think we all are pretty exhausted all the time in our 24/7 world.) Imagine if the baseline health level includes pretty high pain levels every day, which you are reminded of throughout the day when you try to move and sometimes when you sit still, and crushing tiredness that leaves no option but to "clock out" and rest, both physically and mentally? Never. Feeling. Good. Living every day with the sense that you are falling "behinder and behinder" because you don't have the stamina to do the basics? Feeling like a beat up paper bag physically and constantly trying to rise above it is mentally exhausting work. Whether it is RA, Fibro, or any other disease it sucks. Sometimes I have to step back and acknowledge that this is not easy to do, especially when symptoms are poorly managed through not being able to take the necessary meds. Maybe I write about this here because acknowledging it lets me cut myself some slack and do what I have to do to at least reach a painful baseline on days like this. Seems like a rant out of the blue...sigh. Just a little window into the mental world of RA, I guess. Exiting the pity-party station and on to the day.
Time to play with fabric, too, methinks!