I comfort my winter brain with the knowledge that no matter how long winter stays around and how difficult it is, I always have so much to do in my home. I am surrounded by amazingly funny and life-boosting fur and feather kids, which remind me to stay in the moment and deal with things as they come. My home is filled with "studio space" and art supplies that I could never use up if I lived to be eighty. I have friends to connect with, albeit the snow makes it difficult to meet up in real time (thank you, Facebook and email!) and wonderful neighbors who are more like family. I have a job that is so massive in scope that I could never work enough to make my performance better (it is a wee bit more than just teaching paper mache, though I like to joke about that!) Despite these mental reassurances, there are times when I am taken over by anxiety and the winter blues. I know I am not alone, as these are pervasive in today's world.
Many studies have shown a link between inflammatory conditions such as RA and depression and anxiety. Dealing daily with chronic pain and physical limitations can bring on depression and anxiety over the unknown path the disease will take future, and one's fear over losing the ability to survive. Newer studies suggest more than this, though. Some studies have shown that the inflammatory cytokines that are causing the systemic physical damage are able to cross the blood-brain barrier and effect the brain itself, causing mood disruption. I know that when I mentally slump, a physical flare is on the way and have noticed this connection during my time with this disease. When I over do it physically I get a "low mood hangover." Recognizing patterns like this make it easier to manage, but it still is frustrating to have to deal with. It is like losing battery power to mind and body. Ugh!
So, here's to another day, one day closer to spring and summer, when we can sit on the grass or sand and let the sun warm our tired and sore bones. I can hardly wait! Until then, it is time to stay in creative hibernation mode and make the best of it. A good time to explore new types of art or experiment. As always with art, so much to do, so little time! The daily attempt to make peace with mind and body continues.
What will you make today?