Pain is so consistent these days that I actually had a dream last night about it. When the arthritis first started years ago in my knees I used to have dreams that bunches of little white dogs were gnawing on my knees as I slept. It was horrific. Haven't had that one in ages, thankfully. In this dream I was in a hospital setting (but not a real one) and a very nice female doctor came up to me and said "Your pain is not under control." I answered that it never really is, and she whipped out a script pad and scribbled something, and then handed it to me, saying "Take this many a day. You have to feel better to function better." Ummm, yeah? If only? I have to beg like a drug addict for a very modest script now that doesn't adequately address the daily pain I experience. Pretty sad when the dream I have and remember is reminding me that I feel like crap! The good part of all of this is that with only one milligram down, I've lost a tiny bit of weight. Enough to measure consistently. If this continues, I might not qualify for the Macy's Day Parade next Thanksgiving. I also might be so flared up that my joints are being eaten alive, but at this point, it is something I have to deal with other ways.
Not sure what those ways are. Prednisone masks symptoms and controls inflammation so well that coming off it, even a bit, will let me see what level this disease is really at. I do not want to lose the functionality
pred gives, but do not want to gain so much weight that other problems develop. Bottom line is that I want to stay active, and be able to do what I need and want to do. Is that so much to ask? I've been reading about recent studies using umbilical stem cells to calibrate the immune system, reprogramming the body to stop attacking itself. At this point it is experimental, expensive, and risky (think "wiping out entire immune system" here...) and insurance doesn't touch it. People go out of the country to have it done. Not sure I am that brave, and I know I am not that rich. Maybe someday they might figure this nasty disease out. In the meantime, I will be chomping a combination of OTC and prescription pain pills, as well as carrot sticks, to keep up the ability of walking my dogs. And, if anyone has manged to read this to the end (which I don't really expect!) and is saying "Boo-ring" post today, please realize it is very boring to live this stuff, too. Good thing there is art to bring something new to each day. Cheers!
What will you make today?