I’m taking a chance here today, but I am having a cup of coffee this morning. A delicious, creamy, warm, fragrant brew of the drink I love to hate.Love because it starts my morning with a mental trigger that gets me to write and think. Hate because it hits my gut like a tornado and almost without exception, when I drink it first thing in the morning, I get sick from it, Still, good outweighs bad. After a week of BRAT diet from a very sick gut (and the happy loss of weight associated with said gut-storm) I am taking a chance and indulging in my coffee friend. All the meds I take give my gut a beating, and whatever caused this recent uptick of sick is getting better. Might have to reintroduce beer, too, as an article came across my Facebook page about why it is beneficial to have a beer every day. Sigh. Something tells me this day is not going to end well!
I am always on the prowl for planners and journals that make my life feel less chaotic and help me max out the limited time I have. Some planners are too bogged down in time schedules, which just makes me feel nervous. Others are too tied into Huge Life Goals that seem great until I try to work in little steps into my already crazy days. I do like the idea from the GTD (Getting Things Done) concept of “brain dumping” -- making a list every day of what you need to do, and I mean EVERYTHING. In principle, the list contains everything you carry around in your head such as “Get cat food, clear the tub drain, wash the towels, call my friend,” etc. The idea is you move from a brain dump to a planner, and move anything that didn’t get done over to the next day. In theory this is terrific. Trouble is by Wednesday I have about 465 things on my list, and it keeps growing. Daily. The system says prioritize according to the four square “Urgent/Important” matrix. Even then, the list is still constantly on the go, and growing. For example, in addition to all the carry-over things from the week, I added 44 things last night. Really? No wonder why my gut is in a mess!
I really like using the Pomodoro app on my phone (as I mentioned before) as it takes the list overwhelm off the table and helps chunk tasks into manageable pieces. For twenty five minutes, I can give the task my all and not stress about the other 594 things that await. I do have a phone-based GTD type app that I like called Chaos Control, however the drawbacks are part of the strengths. It is on my beloved phone, so it is with me all the time, Digital formats don’t care about the length of your lists, though, this presents a problem, When you have 100 things to do labelled urgent and important, it is a stressy situation, I’ve learned that I like a physical planner that I can write in better, and the one I made for the summer was the best yet. I made a cheerful little page spread with a little box for each major category I contend with: “For the pets, For My Students, For the House, Errands, For Health, etc.” and filled in daily to-do’s in each area each day. Seemed more light-hearted and fun and reminds me why I am doing so much, I got a little planner at Michaels but it isn’t cutting it, design wise. Sigh. Will have to add “Print New Planner” to my day’s to-do list! .
Sometimes I wonder why I have built the world I currently live in (which I really do love very much) -- teacher of kids, facilitator/ teacher of adults, fabric collager, beader, stitcher, paper collager, printer and stamper, quilter, sewer, sometimes writer, reluctant marketer, digital fabric printer, old book and national geographic afficianado, audio book liver, doll collector, computer and technology lover, Facebook addict and learner, music lover, parrot lover and parrot mama, dog lover and dog mama, cat lover and cat momma, beer liker, wildlife lover, homeowner (endless list, here), car maintainer, floor washer, friend, family member, and more. Of course there are some things one can’t control -- pill taker, nap needer, sick and pain feeler, fatigue carrier, food shopper, appointment goer, money and future worrier.
I wonder if people of my mom’s generation carried this to do list and stress with them every day? I think fifty years ago most of the working class stuffed their personal aspirations into a dark cabinet and focused on the necessities, and find satisfaction in that. I am so impressed. Yes, I could give up a huge chunk of all of this. Move to a cabin in the woods (I’d bring Toby, so he could run free and I’d have a pug condo in the back for cold nights, of course.) and just relax. But I know that isn’t me, I was raised to consume every idea as though it could be a reality, and future generations were given even more confidence to create a multi-faceted life full of interests and personal engagement, which makes of a never-ending to do list. Unfortunately this chaos is who I am. It is both a curse and a blessing to live in an age where anything is possible, And life is 24/7.
My mom didn’t need a complicated system like GTD to get her stuff done, I don’t even remember a list beyond the standard skinny shopping list paper pads that we have today. Dare I say I now understand why she found Gallo Chablis Blanc her favorite beverage? I don’t know how she did it. Truly a wonder woman.
So here I sit with hundreds of things that need doing, and a half full cup of joe left to help me gather steam to do at least five or six of them, Yes, maybe only five or six get done, I sure hope some of them are art related because art to me IS urgent and important, and my inner art beast hasn’t been fed enough with school starting. On my last day of being 48, though, I want to adult real good and not feel like I am fiddling while Rome burns, working on my art while the Big List Looms. I have so much to do, that I NEEEEED this coffee and feel more like myself already. No coffee for a week can really deplete my mental focus!
9/11 looms over the day, too, and I am revisited with memories of that awful day and finding my dad in tears watching television, when I visited him after school. Horrible day and event in the world. So much pain, terror, and loss. Hard to feel good about that day anymore.
But, onward, and another new year awaits tomorrow. 49 feels like a speed bump before a major intersection. I spose it should if you are living it right, deeply, and well. Cheers!